I Know I've Always Known
by overkill-Max
Summary: Paige proposes and Emily channels some serious Han Solo vibes with her badass love.


It's the worst _fucking_ idea, to do it here on the couch, when Emily is watching some cooking show competition on television, but she doesn't know when else she can do it. If she does it in public, Paige feels like she will fall apart before her hands even reach her pocket. She takes a deep breath and decides to just go for it because it feels like the right time even if it's not. "Hey Em, can we talk?" Emily glares at the TV, as if her staring at it will give the contestant she's rooting for the right answer regarding what they're supposed to cook with the mystery ingredient. "Sure Paige." She says, not really interested. "Umm okay. I love you." Emily nods, her attention completely on the show. "I know." Emily says like she always does because she's still too afraid of saying _I love you_ to Paige when A made her feel cursed. As if those three words were a death sentence instead of a way to express her affection for someone else. And Paige understands, she doesn't rush Emily because she gets it. She knows why her girlfriend was always so afraid of even her own shadow throughout most of high school and this is why she has to do this now. To show Emily that nothing will make her leave her side.

Paige pulls her great, great grandmother's engagement ring out of her pocket, she couldn't even get a box for it because it felt heavy enough already. "Emily." Paige says and Emily nods as a way to get Paige to continue, never taking her eyes off of the screen. "I want to be with you forever." She quickly says, most of the words blending into one another in a way that doesn't register automatically with her girlfriend so Emily turns over and the irritation that was apparent on her face vanishes as she sees the ring that Paige is holding out to her. Tears start rolling down Emily's cheeks and she's shaking her head going "no, no, no, no. Not like this." And Paige feels herself deflate because she wasn't prepared for that kind of rejection. "Oh." She states and before she can put the ring back into her pocket, Emily takes it from her and puts it on her finger. It fits perfectly because Paige had it resized and Emily starts crying even louder as she stares at it on her own hand in disbelief because she's used to seeing this ring on Paige's mother's hand. She knows the story behind it and it's too overwhelming to be getting this question… this gift from the woman she loves. "Paige. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I'm wearing my pajamas and watching MasterChef!" She complains as she keeps crying and staring at her girlfriend now turned fiancée. "So it that a yes then?" Paige asks, relieved that Emily has taken the ring, that she has accepted to be her wife. Emily nods and gives her a quick kiss on the lips before curling up next to Paige, who simply puts her arm around Emily and holds her closer. Feeling deliriously happy because she understands what it's like to feel complete.

It takes the rest of the episode for Emily to calm down. For her to stop crying and saying Paige's name in a soft voice that lets the other girl know that this was the right thing to do. Paige is running her fingers through Emily's hair while resting her cheek on top of Emily's head. Emily sighs, not because she missed her favorite show but because she doesn't understand how she couldn't see this coming. She didn't know that at the start of their on again, off again relationship that she would end up falling completely in love with Paige McCullers because she was too busy mourning the loss of Maya. The first couple of times it was because Maya left her and then because she would never come back. And Paige had been so kind and patient and giving that she hadn't been able to reconcile the fact that she didn't hurt as much as she should have over Maya's death. That she was attracted to Paige. That she had never stopped being attracted to her. And now it was years of being torn apart by A and finding their way back to each other over and over again and this was perfect. This moment of just knowing that Paige wanted to be with her forever, regardless of her flaws. Not the proposal because Emily had planned on doing that in the nicest restaurant of the city, while wearing a tight black dress and getting down on one knee… her mom and dad had argued about going against conventions and doing something more grandiose but in the end that scenario always won. But nothing ever went according to plan ever since Paige McCullers entered her life because Paige had terrible timing. As much as she loved her fiancée, the other girl always made the right choices at the wrong time and this one was definitely _the_ top contender.

Paige stopped playing with her hair and kissed the top of her head before taking a deep breath and resting her cheek on Emily's head again. It makes Emily smile, it's not perfect, not by a long shot, but it's Paige and that makes it better than anything she could have come up with. Emily starts rubbing Paige's bare leg up and down and leans in to kiss _her fiancée_. Paige pulls her closer, lazily kissing her because this feels different. They don't have to rush. Emily trails her hand up and down Paige's leg and Paige takes her other hand and gently touches Emily's cheek with her fingers. Emily smiles as she keeps on kissing Paige, running her hand up until she nervously places it over Paige's breasts. Paige isn't as shy, she sneaks her hand beneath Emily's shirt, pulling it up as she goes further up her body. Teasing her with light touches and occasionally kneading her skin. It frustrates Emily and she decides to take charge of the situation by straddling Paige, who simply looks up at her in a way that is familiar and yet… it's hesitant and different. Emily's smile wavers for a second because she doesn't know if this is a good thing or not. "Are you sure about this?" She asks because she has to know, if there are any doubts on Paige's mind, she has to know now. Paige looks down at Emily's body briefly before managing to give her an answer. "Of course I'm sure. A million times yes. I've loved you for years Emily…" Emily nods because she understands; she has loved Paige in exactly the same way. "I know. I've always known." She whispers before leaning down to kiss her, to help show Paige how much she loves her through her actions because those three words always got caught in her throat when she tried to say them. But Paige always understood. She always heard them when she wanted to say them and that's why she had to make sure, because she was always afraid of not being enough for Paige. For the girl who gave her all the bits of herself even while Emily held back.

Tonight she needed to tell her that she loved her, not through words but through this. Emily leaned back to take a good look at Paige, to make sure that this was real before lifting Paige's shirt up just enough to be able to lick her breasts. But she couldn't stop there. She wanted to re-learn every inch of Paige's skin with her tongue. With her kisses. So she kept trailing down her stomach, past her bellybutton, until she reached the edge of her shorts. Emily looked up and Paige nodded before helping her ease them down her legs. Emily tosses them behind her, not caring where they land because she's kissing her way up Paige's legs. Alternating between them before she reaches her thighs and she looks up at Paige, wanting her to look at her do this. Emily grins up at Paige, she wants her fiancée to remember this night, to have it burned in her memories so that every times that she thinks about how she proposed to her, she blushes because all she will remember is Emily's mouth. So she sticks her tongue out and decides to take her time tasting her, enjoying Paige. Emily closes her eyes because god, she was meant to be between Paige's thighs like this. "You taste so good." She says, her lips pressed up against wet folds, making Paige shiver. "I mean it." The way Paige shakes in response lets Emily know that she needs to keep going so she runs the tip of her tongue right up against her clit without applying too much pressure because she only wants to make her wetter, not get her off… at least not yet. She keeps this painfully slow pace up, her knees are starting to hurt because of the hardwood floor but it doesn't matter because this isn't about her. Paige lifts her hips off the couch a little more, trying to encourage Emily to give her more pressure where she needs it. Emily stops running her tongue all over Paige's clit and begins to suck on it for a bit, before going back to slowly licking it. Paige grabs Emily's head and digs her fingers into her hair because she just needs more and it makes Emily smile. She loves it whenever Paige gets fed up with her teasing and demands that she give her what she wants.

Emily gives in because she can't resist wanting to feel Paige orgasm in her mouth… to taste her. So she begins applying more pressure with her tongue. She can't hear if Paige is being loud or not because her thighs are muffling every sound Paige is making, but the way she's moving her body into hers lets her know that she's close. She's so close and Emily keeps going until she feels Paige spasm once and she doesn't stop and Paige's body keeps on jerking until Paige is pushing her face away because she's coming down from her multiple orgasms and her clit is too sensitive for her to keep stimulating it. Emily laughs against Paige's thigh as she looks up at her fiancée who is absolutely gorgeous. She gets up from the floor and sits down next to Paige, wrapping herself around her. Laughter bubbles out of Emily and she's so happy that she starts crying again. Paige kisses the top of her head and swipes at the tears with her thumb. Emily looks up at Paige's eyes and she loves this, she loves her because Paige has that same look on her face she's had since high school. Of pure awe and adoration, as if she can't believe that Emily is real, that she chose her. The same look that has always made her feel loved and protected throughout the years. The one that tells her that Paige will always keep her heart safe. She looks at her left hand and smiles. "I'm never taking this off." Paige laughs and runs her hand up and down her back before holding her left hand, bringing it up to her mouth and kissing it. "Good. I'm glad that you won't. And when we get married you'll get the other ring to wear along with this one." Emily grins at this thought, of being married to Paige. " _I…_ " She begins to say and Paige just smiles and says the words for her, like she always has for all these years. "I love you." Emily nods and caresses Paige's cheek. "I know."


End file.
